SURVIVOR!!!

This is a public service announcement. Survivor: Cook Islands premiers tomorrow (Thursday)! For your health, it is strongly recommended that you tune your TV to CBS at 8pm tomorrow night.

Surgeon Andrea's Warning: Failure to watch may cause lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, and may complicate pregnancy. Watching Survivor greatly reduces serious risks to your health. All non-Surivor broadcasting channels contain carbon monoxide. There are resources available to help you watch Survivor. Check CBS's website or call your personal superfan [me] for tips on how to watch.

Let the outwitting, outplaying, and outlasting begin!