Since my last post I have:

A. returned the too small shoes and gotten different, more comfortable, awesome shoes

B. accepted a new job at Alfred University in the Admissions Office as a "Professional Application Reader" (killer title I know!)

C. resigned from my job at the Springfield "Montessori School" (quotations used intentionally...)

D. sublet my apartment to an awesome Texan named Austin who is a counter-terrorism consultant (yikes!)

E. sold all my furniture on Craigslist

F. moved myself completely out of my room (all but 4 boxes and a comforter fit into my Saab 9-3 but it was packed like whoa!)

G. moved back into my room at home in Alfred which still has my erector sets and stuffed animals

H. started my new job and love my colleagues - they are all so friendly and smart and nice - it's kind of creepy how nice they are

I. experienced 6 degree weather plus spine-numbing winds...welcome home...

Shoe-mania!

I love DSW Shoe Warehouse.

I love the beautiful smell of new shoes that hits you when you walk in.

I love that I can try on 29 pairs of shoes without a single salesperson pestering me.

I love that there are so many options that you literally get tired before you've seen everything.

However, I don't love my big toes. The rest of my toes are shoe-compatible. My big toes are not. The top of my big toes are too tall and the toenails always hit the top of shoes. This may sound minor, but it is really annoyingly uncomfortable and forces me to reject lots of attractive, otherwise comfortable shoes. Even shoes I own and like have worn areas inside where my big toenails have slowly fought a battle against the leather. A very fierce battle, wearing down the enemy. My mother is to blame for this evil toe problem. She has it too. Thanks, Mom. Thanks so much.

The Sad End of Samsung



Until today, I had only ever owned one cell phone. Yes, that's right - I finally broke down and got one in January of 2005 and thereafter cared for it lovingly. I very rarely dropped it, and when I did I always got down on my hands and knees and apologized to it profusely. I took better care of my little Samsung than many people take of their first born child.

But about 2 months ago, Samsung lost its little power light plastic covering. I didn't think much of it. It was just like your 6-year-old loosing his first tooth. Sure he will never be as innocently pure again, but he'll also be just fine. It's even a natural part of growing up.

But a few weeks later, I noticed that the lost plastic light cap had triggered further injury. His gums were infected!!! I mean his hinge was cracked. Soon his jaw was affected and opening and closing became painful and ratchety. I could tell the condition had become serious and life-threatening. I thought about preserving his essence by writing down all of my address book information but then thought that would be like giving up on him, surely leading to his imminent demise. So, like a good mother I stayed by his side, gently easing his jaw open and closed, whisper sweet nothings to him.

Despite my tender love, in a moment of regrettable irresponsibility, Samsung slipped from my pocket as I got up from the couch. It was only a minor fall onto a soft carpet, but in his fragile state, his body couldn't take it. He split completely in half at my feet and a dark cloud descended.

But like the good son that he is, his vital organs held on. His screen was severed, yet his pulse persisted allowing him to make and receive calls, but without his top half he couldn't hear, he could only call for help. Bless his little fighting soul, though, he held on to the vital address information he held within, allowing it to be transferred to his offspring, Pink RAZR before finally letting go.

I will miss you, Samsung. You were my first and one never forgets one's first. You were loyal and steadfast to the bitter end and if Pink RAZR (as cool as she looks!!!) can be half the phone you were, she will be doing very well. Let us have a moment of silence...

Hit and runners suck!

I've been meaning to post about my poor car's recent abuse by a big, bad, probably drunk, anonymous bully. But I wanted to have pictures for you first.



On Friday night, I parked my car on the street by my apartment in what I must say was one of my more perfect parallel parks of the past month. On Saturday, I got all ready to go for a bike ride. I had the perfect layering on, my helmet adjusted, snacks in my backpack, a route planned, and then as I rode down the sidewalk past my car, I realized it had one tire up on the curb. "Why, that can't be MY silver Saab, can it???" I got off my bike, walked around to see the license plate, and sure enough it was mine.

But how could it have gotten up on the curb like that? I walked farther around the car and to my horror discovered that it had been violently struck by an evil hit and run driver. No note. No information. Just a smushed wheel and scratches seemingly from the claws of a pack of hyenas. My poor, poor baby. Only 6 months old. :( I felt as though I had left my infant in the car while just running in for a gallon of milk and the poor thing had nearly died.

End of bike ride. End of happy weekend. Long hours on hold...I mean phone...with insurance, dealership, collision shop, towing company, rental car company, etc. Hopefully my baby will be back from plastic surgery on Thursday. But will it ever forgive me or will it be scarred for life?

BAD, Grey's Anatomy! Bad, BAD!!!

Grey's Anatomy, I don't like it when you play reruns over and over for two months. It's not nice. And it's completely unacceptable to list OLD EPISODES on your website's Season 3 episode guide. If I saw it in Season 2, guess what...it's NOT a Season 3 episode. Please stop coasting on all your fame and fortune and get your ass back in gear. You know, it's like the Boy Who Cried Wolf. If people turn on their TVs on Thursday nights and keep finding nothing, nothing, NOTHING...they just might stop turning them on. Just a thought from a loyal, but irritated fan.

Caption: Lazy actors contemplate how many times they can air this episode before actually working again.

Can't we all just get along?

As soon as somebody fixes Iraq and gets the Democrats in control of everything, could said superhuman please work on making Macs and PCs compatible??? My sister and I just spent over an hour trying to transfer photos over AIM. Problem is, the latest Mac version is 4.7 and the latest PC version is 6.0. And do you think that AIM gives PC users the option to download version 4.7 so they can interact digitally with their Macky friends? No. Of course not. Because they want Macs and PCs to fight like Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell.

Ahh, 5-year-old minds...the hilarity

After spending a week with articulate adults who have reached the abstract operational stage of reasoning, my little students seemed particularly entertaining today. Here are three favorites:

1. Me: "Addie, I like your hair. When did you get it cut?"
Addie: "Umm...two days after yesterday."
Me: "Uh, that would be tomorrow, Addie."
Addie: "No. I said two days after yesterday!"
Me: "Are you sure you don't mean two days before yesterday?"
Addie: "Um, yeah, that's when it was."

2. Me: "So Christian, what did you get for Christmas?"
Christian: "Oh, lots of fun stuff, but my jet wasn't big enough."
Me: "Your jet??"
Christian: "Yeah. I told Santa I wanted a jet because I really want to go to outer space, but he just gave me this little plastic one that I can't get in."
Me: "Oh...well, maybe next year."
Christian: "Yeah...[looking very dejected] because I really want to go way up there to outer space, but now I have nothing to go in..."

3. Aidan: "Hi Miss Andrea, how was your New Year's?"
Me: "Hi Aidan. Thanks for asking. It was really fun. I even tried to eat 12 grapes in one minute as the clock struck twelve!"
Aidan: "Wow, I've never done that before!"
Me: "Oh, well you should try it next year."
Aidan: "No way!"
Me: "Why?"
Aidan: "Well, Miss Andrea, that's just too hard for me! And besides, my parents always tell me to take small bites and eat one at a time, so you know, you probably shouldn't do that anyway.... But it's okay that you did, because your parents probably just forgot to tell you."

Seen/heard on my trip back to DC

Exhibit A: Twenty-something man at gas station making silly faces towards the back seat of his car. Thinking he must have a cute baby, I looked over. Turns out it was his cat. Yes, he was entertaining his tiger-striped cat while he pumped gas.

Exhibit B: Retired tractor-trailer parked in field near gas station with neon message: God loves ALL of you [heart symbol]. Thank you. Thank you so much for recycling those strip club lights to tell me that.

Exhibit C: Christian radio station who apparently didn't get the memo that we typically count down the best songs of the past year (Jesus or otherwise) leading up to "that special midnight moment" on New Year's Eve...not New Year's Day. January 2nd just isn't that special. Sorry.